352 Days

The rain ceasing on Sunday invigorated me to go for a hike. Living in Seattle is like a Noah's Ark montage. I recently heard a colleague and Washington-ite say, "We get 10 weeks of summer," which is two weeks shorter then my optimistic calculation.

In brighter news, the chasm between now and my weeklong birthday trip is shrinking. The atmosphere is gifting me good weather; which is all I ask for. I've told a lie—I implore the gods for the imperceptible passage of leisure time, the swift erasure of working hours and sightings of bumbling dogs every day. (Women are constantly told we don't ask for what we want, so there!)

My photography is improving though I'm ignorant of all the settings. I learned how to autofocus, or something, this weekend. I can now touch the image on the screen where I want to focus and move my camera while that object remains in focus. The theme for my hike was chiaroscuro (which is an art term meaning the transition between light and dark).

As I balance the strain of presence and yearning for the bike trip, I've learned some lessons:

1. Patience (which I fear is the key to contentment) remains elusive.
2. Despite valiant effort, an international trip is dead. I struggle to spend outside my values. Though the prospect of a 3-week trip to Spain entices me, I'd rather traverse and traipse through Andalusia over 3 months. The vacation travel spending I defer now is better spent on slow travel.
3. Rant warning: I feel my income provides safety in America. I've experienced tragedy and trauma. I'm working through a scarcity mindset which roars about a lack of everything. As the world swirls, I cling to my income. According to research, I am in the 1% of world wealth holders. What of the people that don't have a life raft? If I am feeling bedraggled then how is anyone else managing? Or does the fear of losing wealth come as a side dish to accumulating it. I fear that the magnitude of worry is positively correlated with the capital.
   1. Reminder to myself to write an "American Dream is Dead" piece and edit out manifesto tone
4. The spending I've added doesn't feel good / I've reached diminishing returns on spending more. My fixed costs, which I consider as rent, groceries, bills & utilities and gas equals 60% of my take home pay. We bought more gear (paddle boards, another XC mountain bike to try and miscellaneous gear) and have returned it all. The apartment is done as we've just installed the gear storage solution of shelving and totes. The physical aversion and nagging angst precluded me from buying work clothing. I wear the same ten outfits to work and I don't care!

This morning, I'll attend a quantum-related panelist talk and learn about qubits and power applications. I'm going for the networking and to get a hall pass from in-office attendance. Learning and evading my glass tower ✅